shame, self-depreciation and manipulation

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2021.11.29 20:49 Artemis_Instead shame, self-depreciation and manipulation

so... I kinda/sorta got 'offically' diagnosed with ADHD when I was twenty two - 'offically' because I didn't meet the screening criteria for it when my shrink and I looked at my primary school report cards + the questionnaire my mom had to fill out. I definitely have some executive function troubles, am not the most socially gracefull person who has ever walked this earth and live in a constant state of anxiety just trying to manage my household chores, but none o that is ADHD exclusive and there's some stuff I just don't think is 'severe' enough for me to actually get to claim the ADHD label for myself. So I feel like I'm just hiding behind my diagnosis (which I did "get" after my shrink and I experimented with how much improvement in terms of executive function meds bring - turns out they help with that, quiet down my brain 8/10 times and actually make me kind of sleepy on some days) and using it as an excuse to not put in the work to change my behaviour (which I know inconveniences other people) because I can just go "Oh that's my ADHD, I can't help being a "lazy inconsiderate asshole"". My short comings in terms of executive functioning are tied to such a massive, massive amount of shame (struggling with staying on top of my chores, hygiene, failing to be mindful of other people's time etc.) that it takes very little for me to spiral into complete self-loathing and self-hatred other it, which cannot be an easy thing to watch or listen to for loved ones in my life, especially when I get self-depreciating and self-defeating over it. I hate myself very, very loudly over it sometimes, which is ... manipulative. It is emotionally manipulative and I am disgusted with myself over it. Broadcasting my self esteem issues like that to that another person, especially to a friend, a parent, a lover is hard on them and essentially might make them hesitant to voice things that make them uncomfortable or any criticism towards me at all, because it could lead to me having that kind of extreme reaction and declaring myself basically the worst person ever over it. And that's a recipe for unbalanced relationships... and my brain tricking me into becoming a self-fullfilling prophecy again and again by sabotaging relationships, opportunities and my own happiness. And when I look real closely at myself, my behaviour and how I have acted in the past, particularly towards people I had a romantic interest in, there does seem to be a pattern of me "weaponizing" my supposedly low self esteem and my issues in an attempt to garner sympathy, to excuse things I have said and done, to make them pity me enough to stay/not hate me. My only saving grace right now is that I haven't been consciously aware of that until now and thinking about it makes me feel physically sick at times, because it's supremely uncomfortable to admit to it and because it clashes majorly with the person I'd like to be/who I thought I was, who the people in my life deserve. My behaviour so far has been so impressely selfish & entitled that I'm starting to doubt my self-perception and perception of anything, because if I have managed to be so delusional about one aspect of my behaviour and my personality then what else have I been wrong about...
submitted by Artemis_Instead to adhd_anxiety [link] [comments]

2021.11.29 20:49 bayoubilly88 Basic Brisket Questions

I took a two pound point cut of brisket and put in oven at 350 uncovered for one hour. After one hour, I lowered to 300. I got held up with something else for 20 minutes but then added water and covered with foil. I left it at 300 for 1.5 hours.
Everything was good but it was a bit dry and could have been more tender, although the point was pretty tender and juicy. What should I do next time? Thanks.
submitted by bayoubilly88 to brisket [link] [comments]

2021.11.29 20:49 Wonder_of_you Amen

Amen submitted by Wonder_of_you to dankmemes [link] [comments]

2021.11.29 20:49 Zeneimass why should someone keep living if depression can not get better(treatment-resistant)? whats the point of keep suffuring? Of watching others' happiy life and his/her disabilty to have one?[Serious]

submitted by Zeneimass to AskReddit [link] [comments]

2021.11.29 20:49 DeadHundredMen A stretch is a muscle yawn

submitted by DeadHundredMen to Showerthoughts [link] [comments]

2021.11.29 20:49 C4KggxcEJlTefYKisLJE Charger cable - are the extension cables all compatible across models?

I have:

Is it OK to use the old extension cable with the new 140W charger? I checked Apple's website but it doesn't list the current extension cable as being compatible with non-Retina MacBook Pros, so I don't know if they introduced a new one...
submitted by C4KggxcEJlTefYKisLJE to mac [link] [comments]

2021.11.29 20:49 Oidvin Road from 2k to 3k playing mostly support documented and graphed. Link to full stats and my thoughts in the comments!

submitted by Oidvin to DotA2 [link] [comments]

2021.11.29 20:49 AusCOVID19 Vaccine: Merriam-Webster’s word of the year follows 1,048% rise in searches

Vaccine: Merriam-Webster’s word of the year follows 1,048% rise in searches submitted by AusCOVID19 to AusCOVID19 [link] [comments]

2021.11.29 20:49 Derrluxxx Cool jehjgdj hejrjfje hwheuud

submitted by Derrluxxx to britishmilitary [link] [comments]

2021.11.29 20:49 mormatabouga 🕹 Tetris.Quest 🕹Fair Launch in 4 days | 4th December | Rewards Game | Low Starting Mcap | Certified Devs (Kyc in progress) | Giveaways |

💠 Tetris Quest
{BSC Rewards Token}
A new Quest for the Blockchain world, fair launching Saturday 4th December!

Tetris; a game of block placing for points.

Tetris Quest; A utility token on the Blockchain offering crypto rewards in multiple ways, supported by trusted developers.

We will be implemented onto Dapps at some point after launch, we are also in talks with reputable game developers for our future ideas. $Quest

Don’t miss out on Quest ! 🧩

We will be fair launching on Saturday 4th December, as soon as we put the CA out for the public our liquidity pool will be locked for a year and ownership will be renounced.


⚜️ Lp locked
🔱 Dev wallet locked
⚜️ Owner Renounced
🔱 Rewards in BUSD
⚜️ Tetris P2E Game
🔱 Planned Roadmap


Token Name: Tetris Quest
Token Symbol: $Quest
Decimals: 9
Total token supply: 1,000,000,000


Buy & Sell Tax: 9%

3% to LP
3% to Rewards
3% to Marketing


submitted by mormatabouga to ShitcoinStreet [link] [comments]

2021.11.29 20:49 greentruckguy Best pool hall near Dallas, Texas?

I live in downtown Dallas and want to play more and get better, but all the tables near me that I’ve been to are quarter machines at dives with a line of people waiting to play. Decided against buying a table for my apartment, because I don’t want my neighbors to hate me. Anyone know a good spot where I can get more table time?
submitted by greentruckguy to billiards [link] [comments]

2021.11.29 20:49 TheJanissari Best Latin/Mexican restaurant/bar to watch sports?

Hey there,
Pues, I know PGH doesn't have the biggest latino community, but I'm looking for good bars/restaurants to watch a game at. Nothing fancy. I'm around Pitt/CMU.
submitted by TheJanissari to pittsburgh [link] [comments]

2021.11.29 20:49 JayJayOkocha77 Rtx 2060? Enviorment looks a bit meh

Does anyone have a fix to have better graphic in the game? I tried a lot of settings and currently i am stuck with everything on medium and textures on extreme...
They will release a patch eventually, but maybe someone fixed it...
Thanks in advance guys
submitted by JayJayOkocha77 to ForzaHorizon [link] [comments]

2021.11.29 20:49 sunshine_daydream76 Nail art infant; help me please!?

My no chip habit is getting a little out of control $$$-wise, and I’m underwhelmed with my local nail techs’ nail art abilities. I want to start doing my own no chip and nail art at home, but I have no idea where to start. What equipment do I need to buy? What tutorials do I need to watch? Appreciate any and all help! 💜
submitted by sunshine_daydream76 to Nails [link] [comments]

2021.11.29 20:49 JayHaze42 Why do I keep taking one step forward two steps back weekly??

The last few months have been pretty good over all compared to the prior years (never consistent-always negative), but I also keep going back by getting really sad every other week of going forward. Maybe it’s like a “rebound” of sadness cause I’ll be super happy and content with everything in life and be able to manifest small things much easier, then the next week it’s like I’m drained and feel depressed or super sad.
I will say that I’m very thankful to be at this point being that it used to be 3 months of hell and a few days of not being the lowest level of hell, but I want to be able to be at a constant yet controlled contentment and sense of happier well being overall. I know what I want in myself, but confused how to get there.
Side questions: What are some small practices to incorporate to strengthen the “down weeks”? What frequencies are recommended to help maintain energy?
Probably more to come, I’m full of questions at this point.
Thanks for reading 😬
submitted by JayHaze42 to lawofattraction [link] [comments]

2021.11.29 20:49 CrylessGG Youtube FALSE FLAGGING videos for monetization

Hopefully this gets some attention, as it's really a creepy thing for creators to deal with..
Not like it would surprise me.. But you can read the email screens for yourselves.
TLDR: The youtube falsely flags some videos as "non suitable for ads", when you appeal for a re-review (you gotta reach youtube chat support), you then see this.. They literally gave me TIMESTAMPS of where in the video there's hateful and derogatory content, while of course - the video being as clean as it can get.. Share with creators you know they're dealing with this.. Or whatever :)
submitted by CrylessGG to youtube [link] [comments]

2021.11.29 20:49 dylanbb1233 Just thought this was funny

Just thought this was funny submitted by dylanbb1233 to teenagers [link] [comments]

2021.11.29 20:49 LoveAnimeFan Angelina Kudou Shields

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2021.11.29 20:49 Bizzy552 WB VIRIZION 9708 1461 4684

submitted by Bizzy552 to PokemonGoRaids [link] [comments]

2021.11.29 20:49 BlackSand_GreenWalls Protecting your people from the plague, but at what cost to us?

Protecting your people from the plague, but at what cost to us? submitted by BlackSand_GreenWalls to ShitLiberalsSay [link] [comments]

2021.11.29 20:49 ITDesperado In a rough spot looking for entry-level IT contract work (Toronto, ON). I have some questions.

Hello, I have some questions, this seems like the place to ask them.
I’ll give you a quick rundown on my situation. I live in Toronto, Ontario, and am 27 years old. I graduated with an advanced diploma in Networking Technology from 2013 - 2019. I worked as a technical support analyst during that time for 4 months at a car company (2015), and a network administrator for 8 months at a bank (2016) for my 12 months of co-op that was part of the program.


This wasn’t the greatest time for me as two of my family members died and my mother almost died and is now permanently debilitated. This is why graduating took so long. I was socially reclusive and depressed, and anxious during this time as well (and still am), so I have basically no social network or references.


I take responsibility for this, but I am unsure how to deal with it. I worked on a two-month helpdesk contract in 2019 but decided not to extend it due to the work environment. I have been unemployed since then. I have network+ and security+ certifications.




Answering any one or more of these would be very appreciated and helpful. I don’t particularly care about pay right now unless I am being ripped off. I’ll worry about that when I have more experience.


  1. How viable are working IT contracts for a full career? Ideally, I’d want 3-4 months off for every 8-12 months reliably in networking technology / cyber security. Is this realistic?
  2. How do multiple short contracts (6-months - year) look on a resume?
  3. How to find entry-level contracts? Are there any websites or agencies you recommend for someone in Toronto ON?
  4. What is the average length I can expect for a contract in a network / cybersecurity-related contract?
  5. For IT contract work, some people say you will be treated like dirt, other people say you will live like a king. Is the truth somewhere in the middle?
  6. How do I explain my odd work history in a professional manner if asked about it? I’m afraid it will come off as a sob story/whining.
  7. Sometimes things are very different in Canada than they are in America. Is there anything I should keep in mind when I’m doing personal research since a lot of articles and posts are from an American perspective?
  8. Based on my situation, do you have any personal advice from your experiences that you would share with someone starting out?
submitted by ITDesperado to ITCareerQuestions [link] [comments]

2021.11.29 20:49 No_Seesaw1134 Watchlist for 11/30/2021 -- Selloff Was Exactly What We Needed!

Watchlist for 11/30/2021 -- Selloff Was Exactly What We Needed! submitted by No_Seesaw1134 to UltimateTraders [link] [comments]



2021.11.29 20:49 Agile_Chocolate_1907 شكلي في ليلت العيد 😂😂😂

شكلي في ليلت العيد 😂😂😂 submitted by Agile_Chocolate_1907 to AburobSubmissions [link] [comments]

2021.11.29 20:49 aikorose_ What is best when wanting to break a glass door: to shoot it or to kick it?

I’m watching Men In Black and Will Smith just shot down a glass door to break it and enter a building, and I am thinking: wouldn’t it be better to just kick it and save the bullets? or is actually smarter to do that so you don’t get cut?
PS: is there a sub for questions when you are stoned? thx fam love y’all
submitted by aikorose_ to NoStupidQuestions [link] [comments]