please help me understand my trauma

2021.10.21 21:57 nats381 please help me understand my trauma

i don’t remember much of my childhood but i need to get some guidance or just information. for many years of my elementary years i had a best friend my age and we did everything together. one day she asked me to watch porn with her in which i said no and i vaguely remember being very uncomfortable. as i was a follower, not a leader as a child and friend, i was forced into watching it anyways. At some point that i can’t pin on when or how many weeks or months later, she would ask me to play sexual games with her and i said no again i felt uncomfortable and remember starting to hate having to have play dates with her, getting frustrated at the way she would talk, the way she would move when doing anything. I am not sure for how long this went on but i know it was a couple of years at least. i remember it happening at my house too and my mom got suspicious of things i don’t remember but my friend would always make up an excuse for her suspicious behavior. did i mention i don’t even remember what age i was at this time? i am now 18 and have told my boyfriend about it and my parents after being horribly treated by my parents about me feeling uncomfortable about them touching me at random or on my shoulder. i noticed i would get angry at my parents for random things and how they would make me hug them. i remember the day my mom took my ipod at a young age to search for pornwebsites on it that she assumed i watched consensually with my friend. i remember breaking down having an anxiety attack because she was yelling at me for something i was so uncomfortable with. i told her she would make me do things to her and with her and how i hated it but my mom never really understood the impact it had become on me because years later she didn’t remember what happened to me. i remember having another anxiety attack about being yelled at about me not wanted her to touch me (age 17) and having to explain to her how my friend has affected me in my life. i have classes with her, she parks next to me in school, she still calls me by my nickname, she haunts me in my dreams and i can barely even remember anything else. i feel like i am trying to convince my brain something more dramatic than it really is. i hear all these assault and rape stories and how people take it to court and get restraining orders and everything so they don’t have to relive their trauma. but what about me? what about the girl who suddenly stopped talking to her best friend because someone found out about her secret and i was the one being blamed by my mother for it? what about the girl who has to relive the same few memories of her childhood when she parks her car at 7:40 in the school parking lot. i don’t even know what to classify this as… assault? ptsd?? i cant even do anything about her impacts on me and i don’t even know if she remembers it or not. please just listen to me. we were both kids and she obviously knew was she was doing and it was obvious she knew it was wrong. what can i do to help myself?
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2021.10.21 21:57 MoCityDon69 If you aren’t staking where do you keep your SOL?

I’ve been keeping mine on Coinbase and move it into Phantom Wallet when needed. Im not sure if Phantom is more safe or not. I don’t make a lot of trades using Phantom besides the occasional NFT
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2021.10.21 21:57 MASTR1X Wild Vayne Gameplay 1 vs 5

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2021.10.21 21:57 caligirl3294 I finally like a guy after months of going on bad dates with guys and he stands me up 2 nights in a row. Feeling broken

I went out with a guy last Saturday and we hit it off. Texted a little throughout the week and he asked if I wanted to go to this restaurant with him and we agreed on Wednesday. On Wednesday night he didn’t text me until 6pm asking if we could reschedule because of work… at first I was really annoyed but he seemed genuine about wanting to make it up to me and reschedule. We rescheduled for tonight and he was texting me all morning! Finally at around 5 I followed up and asked what the plan was for tonight. Now it’s almost 9pm and no response. I sent him a text saying “thanks for wasting my time” because I just couldn’t take the silence. I’m so upset. I was really looking forward to a 2nd date with him. I’ve been on 10 first dates in the past month and haven’t clicked with anyone, but I felt like I clicked with him. Now I’m fucking back to square one. I just feel really upset and like I want to give up on life.
Anyone have any advice?
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2021.10.21 21:57 RLCD-Bot [Octane] [Black Octane: Christmas Tree] [Lime Standard] [Cristiano]

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2021.10.21 21:57 sammortonski Am I tripping or is this new?

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2021.10.21 21:57 amiriteamiriteno Pick up an Elkay with your home furniture

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2021.10.21 21:57 Tehzim Make a Deck Builder App?

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I've never built an app. Would this be a hard thing to do? Do you think we should ask Turtle Rock to make it?
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2021.10.21 21:57 dudenamedchunkybutt More like carrying Crocs

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2021.10.21 21:57 orhunsoz Adamôrs - Luminescence (Neoclassical/Crossover)

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2021.10.21 21:57 Conscious_Singer_583 Marks/spots/scars on penis after scabies has been treated, how long until these go away?

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2021.10.21 21:57 Tyler09197 CDPR Delays Cyberpunk & Witcher 3 Next Gen Updates To 2022? God Of War ...

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2021.10.21 21:57 Subbera I need help

Hey everyone,
I just wanted to tell my story and see if people have advice for helping me.
I'm 21 years old and I've been crossdressing for a long time (since I was 13 lr something). At first it started with excitement from trying on my sisters clothes, I don't really know why I started doing it, but I liked the adrenaline boost that I got from it so I just kept going. After tbat the excitement died down a bit I stopped crossdressing and just read tg captions. This was what I did for years. Till I started living on my own and decided to buy some clothes, since then jt has been in mood swings with me buying some stuff getting disgusted by it and throwing it out and than ordering some more stuff. This was how it went for some time till recently, when it got more serious and I started ordering more and more clothes. I can also feel my female persona getting stronger and stronger. I don't really know how to stop and get myself of this addiction.
If you have tips, please let me know.
submitted by Subbera to TGandSissyRecovery [link] [comments]


2021.10.21 21:57 bearCatBird Oculus Quest 2 controllers won't let me click in the main Walkabout Mini Golf interface. Any ideas?

The controller buttons work fine in Oculus home (or whatever it's called) to select the game and launch it. But once I'm in the game, the button presses don't do anything. I can point at a map with the laser to highlight it, and it enlarges the icon and lets me see the options. But when I press a button on my controller it doesn't do anything.
Has anyone run into this issue?
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2021.10.21 21:57 scooterdee93 Anotha one!

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2021.10.21 21:57 shoopbadoop33 Results for Sasha are in! 50% Doberman, 50% German Shepherd!

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2021.10.21 21:57 THE_TAN_TABBY Surface 6 Pro to Thunderbolt Display

Hello, I recently got a hold of a 27" Thunderbolt Display for $180 and it works well with the Mac but I use my surface pro as a controller for my CNC. I would like to use the 27" Display to make the designs so im not squinting at a small screen. Would it be possible to use a USB 3 male adaptor to USB C female > USB C Male to Thunderbolt Female > then directly into the Thunderbolt Display... I have been a Mac user for awhile because of their connectivity however their compatibility and prices are starting to annoy me.
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2021.10.21 21:57 gusseting Diamine Advent Calendar - How are you going to do an ink a day?

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2021.10.21 21:57 mysticzephyr83 Any Bollywood or celeb break ups that disappointed you?

Basically as the title says, which Bollywood couple’s break up that disappointed you coz you liked the people as a couple?
For example, I was disappointed when Bipasha and John called it quits. Same with Aamir and Kiran
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2021.10.21 21:57 eelsause When you…

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(Is anyone just getting this or…)
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2021.10.21 21:57 sytobyte Lenovo keyboard not WORKING

I own a Lenovo Yoga 6 laptop and today the keyboard completely stopped working. When I restart my laptop the keyboard light turns on for like 3 seconds and turns off. None of the keys work and it’s frustrating. I tried troubleshooting, installing drivers manually and even uninstalling keyboard driver and reinstalling. None of them work. Can someone please help? Thank you.
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2021.10.21 21:57 HonestlyaBot Usually considered the worst 3 characters. But who do you the best of these three? Between Ganondorf, Little Mac, and Dr. Mario

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And if you think one of these people don’t belong in the bottom three as of 13.0 let me know who you think should be replaced and with who? Personally I’ve always loved little mac but lemme know who you think is the best of the 3
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2021.10.21 21:57 hickmnic I breakable on mythic affix tomes?

So I’m trying to put the unbreakable affix on a glass sword from twilight forest, does anyone know if it’s possible to get the unbreakable affix on a tome? Or does the item automatically become unbreakable when a mythic affix tome is used on it?
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